Breaking the Silence: A True Story of Abuse, Control, and Empowerment in the Deaf Community

Cheryll Atienza
1 day ago
5 min read

A group of Deaf individuals with hands raised in solidarity, standing against abuse — A true story of trauma, strength, and healing for Deaf individuals facing abuse. Speak up. Stay safe. You are not alone.

This is a true story based on real experiences of Deaf women and men who have survived trauma—abuse, manipulation, harassment, and emotional control. For years, many have been silenced, isolated, or pressured into staying quiet while their abuser—often someone from the community—continued to harm others.

In the Deaf community, many people have experienced being threatened, used, or harassed in silence. Sometimes, it’s a touch that was not welcomed, being manipulated into staying in a relationship, or facing pressure from a hearing partner who controls your life. This blog shares the truth that so many hide—and encourages you to speak up, heal, and reclaim your power.

A True Story Shared by Many

Imagine this:

A Deaf woman was in a relationship with a hearing man. At first, everything seemed perfect. He said he loved her, learned a few signs, and promised to support her dreams. But slowly, she noticed the signs:

He would force her to answer questions, even if she was uncomfortable.
He touched her without consent, calling it “love.”
He told her, "No one will believe you if you tell."
He controlled who she could talk to, and isolated her from her friends.
He pressured her to answer things she wasn’t ready to share, and when she didn’t, he threatened her with harm.

She lived in fear—afraid to say no, afraid to escape. These threats left her with trauma, anxiety, and silence.

She tried to leave, but he gaslighted her—making her question herself. It wasn’t until she finally told her best friend that she realized she had to get help.

Her story is not unique. Many Deaf men and women, just like her, are survivors of trauma—abuse hidden behind smiles.

The Reality: What Survivors Face

In Deaf and hearing communities, survivors have faced:

Sexual harassment – unwanted touching or sexual comments.
Manipulation – being guilted into sex or control.
Threats – being told they’ll be exposed or harmed.
Emotional pressure – being forced to answer questions or do things under fear.
Gaslighting – making you believe it’s your fault.
Isolation – being cut off from friends or support.
Strangers or new friends – some people pretend to be friendly at first, but later they cross boundaries. They may touch you in ways that feel lustful or uncomfortable without your permission. This is still harassment and should be taken seriously.

This happens in friendships, relationships, events, and even online. The trauma is real. When someone keeps pressuring a woman or man and threatens them for not answering, it creates deep fear and long-lasting trauma. No one deserves to live like that.

Speak Up. You Are Not Alone.

You are not weak for feeling hurt. You are not dramatic. You are a survivor.

If you’ve been hurt:

Talk to a trusted friend or support person.
Report to the police, speak with a licensed counsellor, confide in a loving family member, or reach out to a true friend who will support you.
Let Deaf event organizers know if you need a safe space.
Protect your body, your peace, and your heart.

If someone threatens you, pressures you to speak when you're not comfortable, or manipulates you—report it. You have the right to feel safe and be protected.

Important Global Statistics

These real numbers help us understand how serious this issue is:

85% of women worldwide experience physical or sexual violence.
1 in 3 women are sexually harassed in public or at work.
About 27% of women and 10% of men report domestic violence.
Over 60% of abuse survivors experience emotional control.
The global divorce rate is around 40–50%.
81% of Deaf people in hearing-Deaf relationships report control, pressure, or emotional manipulation by their hearing partner.

Many Deaf individuals say their hearing partners limit their ability to express themselves in sign language or try to dominate decisions, leading to emotional harm.

These are just the reported cases. Many more suffer in silence.

Over 31% of Deaf men who are in relationships with hearing women have said that they feel emotionally hurt or controlled. Their hearing partners often:

Try to control their emotions or actions, like making them feel guilty, scared, or weak.
Manipulate them, which means using tricky or unfair ways to make them do something or stay quiet.
Silence them, especially when in public or having an argument—meaning the Deaf men feel they can't speak up, defend themselves, or express how they truly feel.

Also, many Deaf people have shared that their hearing partners:

Stop them from using sign language to communicate.
Take control of decisions in the relationship instead of discussing things equally.

All of this causes emotional pain, stress, and makes the Deaf person feel invisible or powerless in the relationship. It's a serious problem, and it’s important to speak up, ask for help, and protect your rights and communication.