This Is a True Story of Deaf Survivors Who Overcame Trauma

Cheryll Atienza
Jun 23
4 min read

Updated: Jul 11

The Silent Struggles of Deaf Individuals

This blog post highlights the real experiences of Deaf women and men who have survived trauma—abuse, manipulation, harassment, and emotional control. For years, many have been silenced, isolated, or pressured into staying quiet while their abuser—often someone within the community—continued to harm others.

In the Deaf community, many have faced threats, manipulation, or harassment in silence. This might include unwanted touch, coercion to remain in a relationship, or emotional control from a hearing partner. This blog aims to reveal the truths many are afraid to share, encouraging readers to speak up and reclaim their power.

A True Story Shared by Many

Imagine this scenario:

A Deaf woman was in a relationship with a hearing man. At first, everything seemed perfect. He professed his love, learned a few signs, and promised to support her dreams. But gradually, she began to notice troubling behaviors:

He forced her to answer questions despite her discomfort.
He touched her without consent, claiming it was an expression of love.
He threatened her with, "No one will believe you if you tell."
He controlled who she communicated with, isolating her from friends.
He pressured her for information she wasn’t ready to share, and used threats to maintain control.

Living in constant fear, she struggled to say no or escape. The trauma and anxiety were overwhelming.

When she attempted to leave, he gaslighted her—making her question her reality. It wasn’t until she confided in her best friend that she realized she needed help.

Her story is not unique. Many Deaf individuals share similar experiences, surviving trauma that often lies hidden behind smiles.

The Reality: What Survivors Face

In both Deaf and hearing communities, survivors encounter:

Sexual harassment – unwanted touching or sexual comments.
Manipulation – being guilted into sexual acts or control.
Threats – risks of exposure or harm for speaking out.
Emotional pressure – forced responses under fear.
Gaslighting – convincing you it’s your fault.
Isolation – being cut off from friends or support networks.
Boundary violations – individuals may initially appear friendly but later cross inappropriate boundaries, leading to discomfort and harassment.

These issues can arise in friendships, relationships, social events, and online interactions. The trauma inflicted from pressure and threats creates deep fear and long-lasting effects. No one should endure such pain.

Speak Up. You Are Not Alone.

You are not weak for feeling hurt. You are not overreacting. You are a survivor.

If you’ve experienced harm:

Talk to a trusted friend or supportive person.
Report to the police, consult a licensed counselor, confide in a trusted family member, or reach out to a true friend who will stand by you.
Inform Deaf event organizers if you require a safe space.
Protect your body, your heart, and your peace.

If someone threatens, pressures, or manipulates you—report it. You have the right to feel safe and to be protected.

Important Global Statistics on Abuse

Understanding the gravity of this issue is essential. Here are some significant statistics:

85% of women worldwide experience physical or sexual violence.
1 in 3 women are sexually harassed in public or at work.
About 27% of women and 10% of men report experiencing domestic violence.
Over 60% of abuse survivors encounter emotional control.
The global divorce rate is around 40–50%.
81% of Deaf individuals in hearing-Deaf relationships report experiencing control or manipulation from their hearing partner.

Many Deaf individuals express feeling limited by their hearing partners, facing restrictions on their ability to communicate in sign language or having their decisions dominated.

These figures only represent reported cases. Many others suffer in silence.

Over 31% of Deaf men in relationships with hearing women report feeling emotionally hurt or controlled. Their hearing partners often:

Control their emotions or actions through guilt or intimidation.
Manipulate them, using tricky methods to keep them quiet.
Silence them in public or even during arguments, preventing them from defending themselves.

Additionally, many Deaf individuals convey that their hearing partners:

Restrict their use of sign language.
Dominate relationship decisions, avoiding equal discussions.

These dynamics lead to emotional pain, stress, and a sense of being invisible or powerless. It is crucial to ask for help and assert your rights to communication.

Healing is Possible

If you are hurting, know that healing is not just possible—it’s your right.

Here are steps to recover:

Reach out to Deaf-friendly therapists or community support services.
Set boundaries and refuse anything that disrupts your peace.
Join support groups or connect with Deaf mentors who understand your experience.
Give yourself time; you deserve love, safety, and freedom.